Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
