K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
