fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
