waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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