You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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