And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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