I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
