I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
