i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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