Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
