i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
