i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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