Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The best revenge is premature balding
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize