ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
