One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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