Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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