You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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