so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
birth control should be required to get into college
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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