You can't motorboat a personality
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
