Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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