I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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