We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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