I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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