2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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