OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
