I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
