this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
