So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
