Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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