His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
