He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I want is dick and wine.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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