Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
