We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
