so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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