May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize