i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
