Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
