Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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