; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize