i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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