how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
