Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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