Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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