just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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