it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
