He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
