Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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