My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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