I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Every concussion has its silver lining
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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