hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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