I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
