i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize