i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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