Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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