rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize