Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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