just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
