I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
