Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i need some magic done to my vagina
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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