My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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