We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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