There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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