he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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